• Sam Brownback Leads Brave Senate Committee in Battle Against Inhuman Man-Beasts

    Goddamnit! If I'd only managed to deploy my race of half-centaur/half-werewolf K Street lobbyists a little earlier, none of this would be happening

    Senate Republicans have introduced legislation to ban the creation of human-animal hybrids.

    Led by Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), 19 Republicans and 1 Democrat introduced a bill yesterday that would prevent U.S. researchers from developing embryos that use both human and animal material, a controversial practice underway in the UK…

    "What was once only science fiction is now becoming a reality, and we need to ensure that experimentation and subsequent ramifications do not outpace ethical discussion and societal decisions," Brownback said last year when he introduced similar legislation.

    Man, it's a good thing we have clear-thinking science-understanders like Sam Brownback around to really frame issues as they aren't not without even the tiniest shred of hyperbole.

    Hang on, though. Let me just get this completely clear: Can we or can we not open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals here in the United States? And, if not, to what godless land can I travel so that I can open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals?

    "Here in the United States, we simply cannot open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals, which the British government seems intent on doing," [Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.)] said the last time she introduced similar legislation.

    Got it. U.K. Buying my ticket now. I'll be having sex with a lab-created mermaid by Sunday. Thanks for the tip.

    But do you know what I don't get? These senators act like they're all opposed to "unnatural species" and "human-animal hybrids" and stuff, and then they go and let James Inhofe be the ranking minority member of the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works.

    Come on, Senate, make up your mind!

    (via Pharyngula, which puts the issue in much better context)


    Tags: Mary Landrieu, Sam Brownback, Science & Technology, Senate, United Kingdom

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.