• Barack Obama to Heal Nation's Ills in One Beer or Less

    Lots of people spend their entire lives trying to gain an audience with the President of the United States, and almost all of them FAIL. That's because they're all going about it the stupid way.

    Haven't they heard? "Racially profiling someone and arresting him for breaking into his own house" is the new "working really hard and becoming a person of national importance" totally to the max!

    When President Obama said last week that the whole incident involving Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge police department could be worked out over a beer at the White House, he wasn't speaking figuratively. CNN is reporting today that the White House has confirmed that the president is to meet with the two men this week…

    As for drink orders, CNN says Obama will be having a Bud and Crowley a Blue Moon. No word yet on Gates beverage of choice.

    Come on, Gates! Get crackin' on that order! You've only got several days before you're going to drink that one beer while having the most awkward completely non-relaxing conversation of your life several hundred miles away from your home.

    Speaking of which… Waitress! I'll have a Brooklyn Lager on October 14th, please. Please have it delivered to the middle of Wisconsin. I realize you're busy, so if you can just get it to me sometime before 2010, that'll be fine.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr., James Crowley, Massachusetts, Racism, White House


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