• The Onion: Congress Beginning to Suspect Senator Mark Warner Might Be Homeless

    The Onion looks into an issue that's been the subject of a lot of speculation lately: Is Sen. Mark Warner homeless?

    "At first, I thought he was just burning the candle at both ends," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who noted that the unshaven Warner is always the first to arrive in the morning and the last to leave the Capitol at night. "But then on Sunday, I dropped by to pick up a few things and found Mark asleep under a blanket of Washington Posts on the Senate floor."

    "It never really crossed my mind before, but I think the poor guy might be homeless," Reid continued. "It would explain why he's always asking the other lawmakers if they're going to finish their lunch."…

    Over the past few weeks, Warner has reportedly signed up to be placed only on Senate subcommittees that serve complimentary breakfast and coffee during meetings. Warner's behavior on the Senate floor has also changed as of late, with the legislator voting in favor of more comfortable benches in public parks, and adding several riders onto bills calling for "universal access to soup."

    Personally, I think that working in Congress could be a fantastic stepping stone for homeless people to use to slowly get back to being productive members of society.


    Tags: Harry Reid, House of Representatives, Mark Warner, Senate, The Onion

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