• Are You There, God? It's Me, and I'm Worried About Michele Bachmann

    michelebachmannDear God,

    Have you been reading the news from Minnesota? Maybe you're preoccupied with more important matters, like Paula Abdul leaving Idol. But it seems Rep. Michele Bachmann is waiting to hear from you, and, um, the fate of our country hangs in the balance

    [WorldNetDaily] asked Bachmann if she could see a day when [she] would one day run for the presidency.

    "If I felt that's what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it," she answered. "When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I've said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That's really my standard.

    "If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve," she concluded, "but if I am not called, I wouldn't do it."

    The thing is, God, she isn't kidding about not seeking higher office if You don't tell her to do it. Remember how she got to the House of Representatives in the first place?

    "God then called me to run for the United States Congress, and I thought 'What in the world will that be for?' and my husband said 'You need to do this,' and I wasn’t so sure, and we took 3 days and we fasted and we prayed and we said, 'Lord. Is this what you want? Is this your will?' and after long about the afternoon of day two, He made that calling sure."

    God, I have no idea how You "make a calling sure" these days (text message?). I'm just going to suggest that it would be nice if You refrain from parting any major rivers when Michele Bachmann is watching. Don't let the shrubs around her house catch fire. Please don't build any cloud formations that spell out "Bachmann 2012."

    Because if this really is the end times it would be far more merciful to destroy the planet with a divine lighting bolt, instead of putting us through that campaign.


    Tags: Christianity, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota


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