• LiveBlog: President Obama's Measured Plea for Death Panels

    9:16 – So, what did you think about this speech? Did Obama find the America's G spot? Did he make fireworks go off inside its head? Or was America really just thinking about the left over Lamb Korma in the fridge?

    9:15 – Welp, that was that. Obama's speech seemed like a good speech. It's a shame that we don't have a system of government in which good speeches will make crazy people stop talking loudly. Oh, well.

    Oh, and my dad's friend. I guess his speech was okay, too. It was short. I like short.

    9:11 – That was it? It's over? He didn't even give me a chance to start paying attention whatever he was saying.

    9:10 – Oh! I know what's going on. This is one of those Jeff Dunham puppets!

    9:09 – Very smart of the GOP try to match Obama's level of energy. This guy is on fire.

    9:08 – Ugh. Who turned on the informercial show?

    9:06 – Charles Boustany is talking now. Who's this guy again? He knows my dad, right?

    9:05 – CNN is saying that some Republicans were waving things around during the speech. Apparently, they thought they were at the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    9:04 – What? Josef Stalin didn't get a shout out? What gives?

    9:03 – From the comments: "His head seems to have grown by one tenth of one percent in the past half hour." – meredithQ

    9:01 – From Wonkette: "Ted Kennedy. He died. Anyone who doesn't vote for my bill will be charged with murder."

    8:59 – Hey, remember that guy Ted Kennedy? He was nice, right? So, wattaya say we pass this fucker, huh?

    8:56 – From Wonkette: "ERIC CANTOR IS SEXTING!"

    8:55 – When you think about it, that's only $90 billion a year. It's much more easily manageable to think of it that way. You know, take it a billion birds by a billion birds.

    8:54 – $900 billion over ten years?! But how many dead Iraqis will this produce?

    8:52 – Yay! The Republicans get their chance to stand and cheer. Everybody gets their chance! Yay!

    8:50 – "I will protect Medicare." Just so long as he doesn't socialize it.

    8:47 – I wanna speak directly to seniors for a minute. You are going down. Suck it, Grandma!

    8:46 – "I will not sign a bill that adds one dime to our deficit. Either now or in the future." Oh, so this bill is going to be made out of magic. Nice! I like magic bills.

    8:44 – To my Republican friends, I say, instead of just making a bunch of shit up, why not not just make a bunch of shit up? How about that?

    8:42 – From a friend: "Does every woman in congress tell her kids, look for me I'll be the one wearing the fuschia pantsuit?"

    8:41 - "Insurance companies don't do this because their bad people." Heavens no. They do it because you're bad people.

    8:40 – Whomever it was, yelled "Lie!" Touche, asshole.

    8:39 – There's a heckler on the Congress floor? What is that, an Insane Clown Posse concert?

    8:38 – Death panels! He's talking about them! Yay, stupidity!

    8:37 – I apologize for putting this in your head, but just try to pay attention to the rest of the speech with Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi having their blinking contest in the background. She's winning.

    8:34 – Andrew Sullivan: "He's fired up. This is the campaign Obama, appealing to the center against the old politics."

    8:32 – "There's no reason we shouldn't be catching diseases like breast cancer"??!! Obama wants to give us all breast cancer!!! Someone get Michelle Malkin on the phone!!

    8:30 – "Nothing in our plan requires you to change what you have." So, what? I don't have the right to wave my right to have the right to choose my coverage? Typical.

    8:27 – The best ideas of both parties? The Democrats and the Socialists?

    8:26 – From the comments: "I never understood all of the applause in these events… It's like they're TRYING to stop him from speaking." – NordicOten

    8:25 – Our health care problem is our deficit problem? Really? I'm not an economy guy, but that sounds like a not true thing.

    8:24 – What's this about us paying more taxes?! I'm against it!

    8:22 – This speech is a bummer. All the characters in this speech die. Why is everyone clapping so hard?

    8:20 – Dingell.

    8:19 – "I'm not the first president to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last." Is he really planning on screwing it up that hard?

    8:18 – "I can say with confidence that we have pulled this economy back from the brink." If this were a movie, this is when a dead body would fall from the rafters.

    8:17 – Wow. Our congress sure is good at clapping. No wonder they don't want to stop. It's the one thing at which they truly excel.

    8:15 – Pay attention. That's the last round of applause the president will receive for the next four years unless he passes the health care bill. Also, the sun will bleed spiders. It's true.

    8:10 – If you're not near a television, you can watch the speech live over here. And if you're not near a bunch of ducklings trapped in a pool, you can watch that over here.

    8:07 – Hillary's in the room. And she's wearing the same colored dress as about twelve of the congresswomen. Is that on purpose? Is there some significance to salmon?

    8:02 – Oh, look, here comes Michelle dressed up as a little french school girl. She can pull it off, I think. Only her and David Vitter.

    8:00 - Death panels!!! Eldercide!!!!!! Wooooooooooo!!!!! Let's get this thing started!!!

    Tags: Barack Obama, Charles Boustany, Health Care, House of Representatives, Liveblog, Senate


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.