• Senate Report Blames Donald Rumsfeld for Osama bin Laden Still Being Not-Dead


    The U.S. Senate is today releasing a report entitled "Tora Bora Revisited: How We Failed to Get Bin Laden and Why It Matters Today," which — if I'm not mistaken — is a kind of modern retelling of Evelyn Waugh's classic "Brideshead Revisted."

    Except instead of dealing with "the unmerited and unilateral act of love by which God continually calls souls to Himself," it's more about how former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld let Osama bin Laden slip away from U.S. troops way back in 2001…

    It points the finger directly at Rumsfeld for turning down requests for reinforcements as Bin Laden was trapped in December 2001 in caves and tunnels in a mountainous area of eastern Afghanistan known as Tora Bora.

    "The vast array of American military power, from sniper teams to the most mobile divisions of the marine corps and the army, was kept on the sidelines," the report says. "Instead, the US command chose to rely on airstrikes and untrained Afghan militias to attack Bin Laden and on Pakistan's loosely organized Frontier Corps to seal his escape routes."…

    [T]he report — commissioned by Senator John Kerry, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee — says Bin Laden expected to die and had even written a will. But the Al-Qaeda leader would live to fight another day."

    From what I understand, they're hoping to get Colin Firth to play Bin Laden in the film version.

    You know, so they can capture the terrorist's roguish good looks and recapture some of their "Bridget Jones' Report on the U.S. Intelligence Community's Prewar Intelligence Assessments on Iraq" audience.


    Tags: Afghanistan, Bush Administration, Donald Rumsfeld, Military, Osama bin Laden, Senate

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.