• Return of the John Edwards Sex Tape

    Hey, remember that DIY porn film starring that guy who was asking all of us to let him run our country that we were promised way back in June? You probably thought that was going to end up being just another broken political promise, didn't you? (Typical Democrat, am I right?)

    Well, according to some of Gawker's sources, it might be popping up after all.

    And not only that, but it's longer than one might expect. (Get it? Get it? That's a reference to the size of Edwards' penis, which is supposedly pretty big. Anatomy jokes! Always kill!)

    Sources have told us that, in the throes of their affair, John Edwards and Rielle Hunter made a sex tape that contains "several sex acts." And that his aide, Andrew Young found it on an unmarked DVD.

    The tape, say both our sources, is explicit and reveals that Edwards "is physically very striking, in a certain area. Everyone who sees it says 'whoa'. She's behind the camera at first."

    So what? People say "whoa" when they see my penis, too. As a matter of fact, this one lady on the subway this morning practically fainted.

    Tags: John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Scandalgate, Sex


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