Yo yo yo yo yo yo! What up? It's the most dopest time of year, bros and ladies, it's CPAC time! And this year the right-wing party will be extra righteous, on account of the rockin' new XPAC Lounge, the place where all the hip young conservatives are gonna be chillaxing and maxing. To the max.
Check it: I was able to get inside and take a look, so c'mon, let me show you around. My name's Dave, by the way, but you can call me D-awg. I'm a twentysomething male who enjoys blogging, Twittering, interacting with my peers on Facebook, buying products endorsed by professional skateboarders and fighting for fiscal conservatism. Tubular!
Okay, so, the first rule of XPAC Lounge is… you don't talk about XPAC Lounge. Just kidding, broheim! Chuck Klosterman is the bomb, am I right? Anywho, here at the XPAC Lounge we got everything a young person needs to be satisfied: video games, pizza and Brit Hume. Hootie hooooo!
But wait, there's more! Dig the XPAC Lounge event schedule — see what's going down Friday from 11pm to 1am? "Late night" "comedy." Yeah, in quotes to show we mean business. Booyah! You thought the liberals had a monopoly on edgy zingers? You thought wrong. Go ahead and tell that Jon Stewart guy over at MTV that he's got some competition!
I'm saving the best for last, obvs-iously. Stephen Baldwin. Bam. Need I say more? He's just one of the celebs joining us for "Epic Nites" at XPAC — and if you're not there for "10 Questions with Stevie B," well, you snooze, you're p0wn3d!!
Yo, hey, this has been realer than real, but I gotta jet like Air Force One, or as I like to call it, the Sarahmobile. Hey, a guy can dream, am I right? Yo yo! D-awg out, for America!
Tags: Brit Hume, Conservatives, CPAC, Republicans, Stephen Baldwin