• Scott Brown Still Wants to Be the Woody Harrelson to Barack Obama's Wesley Snipes

    Scott Brown was totally not kidding about that whole basketball game thing with the President

    Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) and his daughter, Ayla, say they're serious about their proposal to play hoops with President Barack Obama at the White House.

    And now the father-daughter team is taking it a step further: They'd like the option of opening the game up to the public in order to raise money for Haiti.

    "I think it'd be really fun… I was thinking why not charge admission. It'd be a really good game knowing me and my dad — we're very competitive — and give all the proceeds to Haiti," Ayla Brown said Monday in an interview with ABC News.

    I think this is a great idea for Brown, but not such a great one for Obama. Scott Brown already effectively unseated Obama from the Oval Office by beating Martha Coakley for a Senate seat in Massachusetts. If he and his daughter beat him on the court as well, I don't see how Obama's would ever be able to come back from that kind of humiliation.

    I mean, he'd have to leave Washington in disgrace, take up a drinking habit and spend his days puking up his esophagus in some seedy Illinois motel bathroom, until the day that he falls so deeply into a Wild Turkey-induced stupor that he wakes up on a b-ball court surrounded by a darkened void and finds Ted Kennedy standing at the other end of the court. The deceased statesman from Massachusetts — his voice distant and echoey at first, though increasingly close and warm — would of course challenge the confused and unshaven president to a game of H.O.R.S.E. And, through playing that game, Obama would re-find his political mojo.

    Upon waking in his vomit-encrusted motel bathroom, he would immediately pour the dregs of his whiskey bottle down the sink, hop into a Stevie Wonder musical montage and begin training for his return to the Capitol.

    Upon returning to the garbage-strewn, dilapidated halls of the White House, he would discover that, in his absence, Dick Cheney and his horde of reanimated Republican corpses had taken over the country.

    And that's when it's time to kick some zombie ass!

    So, yeah, I'm not really sure that accepting Sen. Brown's challenge is such a wise decision, politically speaking.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Basketball, Haiti, Martha Coakley, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, Senate, Sports, Ted Kennedy


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.