• The David Paterson Bombshell Drops in the New York Times

    Here it is! The nuclear political bombshell that didn't exist now exists on the internet, where everyone can read it, and also on paper where everyone can have nostalgic feelings about paper.

    Ready? We're going to read the New York Times David Paterson scandal story right now. This is going to be so juicy. Okay, first off, we have the headline at the top of the webpage: "Paterson's Ex-Driver, David W. Johnson, Is a Top Confidant." Oooh. Wait. Huh?

    There's more: "Paterson Aide's Quick Rise Draws Scrutiny." What? Who is this guy? And draws scrutiny by whom?

    By the New York Times, apparently, which goes on to inform us that one of David Paterson's aides earns a substantial salary, travels with the governor, faced drug charges as a teenager and has thrice been accused of harassment, although no charges are pending, no arrests were made and no investigations are underway. It sounds like maybe one of David Paterson's aides was involved in some domestic disputes that may or may not have included verbal or physical assaults? Nobody seems to know for sure, not even the New York Times, whose reporters relied on unnamed sources and obtained very little in the way of specific information.

    What a disappointment for modern journalism. I mean, come on. We were promised penises. Where are the penises?


    Tags: David Paterson, New York Times, Scandalgate

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.