The Onion: Senator Dikembe Mutombo Blocks Record Amount of Legislation

This, as well as anything, explains why Dems can't seem to get any legislation through out there…

Sen. Dikembe Mutombo (R-CO) showed that he is still one of the most dominant big men in Congress Thursday, blocking a record 16 bills in one legislative session.

The 7-foot-2 senator, who broke the record previously held by Sen. Shawn Bradley (D-NJ), Rep. Arvydas Sabonis (D-OR), and current Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), batted away legislation left and right, sometimes swatting bills so hard that they were sent flying all the way back to committee…

"He's like a brick wall out there," a visibly tired and sweaty Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) told reporters. "Sen. Mutombo's arms are so long that if legislation is introduced anywhere in his vicinity, he's probably going to knock it away. There's no way we are going to get health care through with Mutombo out there."

Now, who wants to discretely sex Sen. Mutombo?

See also: Filming of Congressional Reality Show Disrupts Committee Meeting

Tags: Basketball, Bipartisanship, House of Representatives, John Kerry, Mitch McConnell, Senate, Sports, The Onion