• John McCain's Guide to Talking Your Way Out of Responsibility for Anything

    Are you tired of being forced into having the courage of your convictions? Doesn't it really get under your skin when people expect you to take responsibility for things that are your responsibility? And isn't it just the worst when decisions that you have made in the past are remembered by people today?

    Well, John McCain — head sensei for the Way of the Maverick — is went on Meet the Press this past weekend to tell you that there's another way!

    Blame Henry Paulson!

    David Gregory: One question about the bailout, the TARP. You voted for it. But you said that you were misled by Former Treasury Secretary Paulson. How so?

    John McCain: We were all misled. We were all misled.

    Yes! We were misled by Henry Paulson. All of us! And not just on the bailout, but on a multitude of things! Henry Paulson has been misleading Americans into a responsibility-free existence for years!

    Harness the ancient wisdom of fearful Bedouin tribespeople to improve your life today! It's just that easy!

    Try it on your boss…

    Your Boss: You're more than an hour late to work this morning.

    You: I was misled by Henry Paulson into believing that the physics governing time had been suspended.

    Try it on your wife…

    Your Wife: You're having sex with my sister!

    You: I was misled by Henry Paulson into believing that you were wearing her skin as a ceremonial raiment.

    You can even try it on your personal deity…

    Your God: You have spent your entire life in the pursuit of debauchery and sinful self-gratification.

    You: I was misled by Henry Paulson into believing that You valued orgiastic Bacchanalia and ecstatic pleasure as states of pure holiness.

    Thanks, John McCain! Now we can all live the life of a Maverick!

    Warning: Offer may not be good in Arizona.

    Tags: Economy, Henry Paulson, John McCain, TARP


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