• If Sarah Palin Gets Any More Presidential, She'll Probably Release a Sex Tape or Something

    It must be pretty hard for conservative die-hard supporters of Sarah "Real America" Palin to watch her recent dalliances through the media-land she so vocally and emphatically deplores.

    Pretty hard to figure out which is the most amazingly presidential!

    Obviously, the upcoming cut-and-paste inspirational-quote-collection sequel to her current hugely popular — you know, the ghost-written personal memoir — is pretty stately. I mean, just try to imagine Thomas Jefferson without bestselling "Squab Chowder for the Revolutionary Soul." You can't. It's impossible.

    And then, of course, there's the Alaska-themed reality show that the partial-term governor — who famously asked what happens when Barack Obama's "Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot" — is shopping around Little Gomorrah Hollywood. That's something that serious-minded presidential candidates do. I mean, isn't that really why people get into politics in the first place? To get their own reality show? You don't think that Rep. Flavor Flav (D-NY) served all that time chairing that House Committee on Gettin' Up (Get Get Gettin' Down!) for his health, do you?

    But probably the most overtly real-deal presidential aspect of Sarah Palin is the way she conducts herself when the bright lights fade, the cameras stop rolling, and it's just Sarah and her fellow Americans (who happen to be getting showered with free gifts in an Academy Awards "celebrity gift suite")…

    The Fox News contributor and one-time vice presidental hopeful showed up to Silver Spoon's Oscar Suite in West Hollywood yesterday, benefiting the Red Cross…

    "They were like locusts," says one vendor at the suite, regarding Palin and her large group of hangers-on. "She showed up with like 20 people, and they immediately swarmed the place taking everything!"

    Wow! Why are we even waiting for 2012?! Somebody get her the jewel-encrusted president's crown now! We need this lady ruling our country immediately!

    Tags: Books, Movies, Sarah Palin, Television


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