Attn. Michele Bachmann and other privacy-minded Americans: if you do not fill out your census form, the government may send someone to your home, onto your actual property, to ask you a series of questions for the express purpose of threatening your district with Congressional representation and funding. In order to avoid this Socialist/Hitler-type fate, you will want to avoid answering certain Census questions. But which ones?
The Morning News has published this helpful list, which reads in part…
15. How many Hot Pockets are in your refrigerator or ice box right now?
16. Oh no, that is sad, did your gay cousin or mother-in-law eat all your Hot Pockets?
17. But seriously, don’t worry about the missing Hot Pockets, do you know what’s inside those friendly little pockets, for real?
18. Oh, was that all you had around to eat today while waiting for the unemployment?
You'll want to print the entire list and keep it in your wallet in case of emergency. The thing about these census takers is you never know when they're going to strike… and they look just like us.