Charlie Crist Will Not Be Permitted Re-Entry to the Grand Ole Party

Sen. John Cornyn has a staunch warning for Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who is widely expected to announce his departure from the Republican Party fifteen minutes ago…

"Once you leave the party, you can't come back," Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) told the Huffington Post. "And if he has other aspirations, it's hard to see how that works out."

I see. This party is more like a concert. If you wanna leave to smoke a cigarette, because they won't let you smoke one inside anymore, you won't be able to get back in, even though all your friends and your jacket are still in there. (That's pretty much the best analogy for this situation that there is, or can possibly be, for this situation. Don't you think?)

Oh, but also, your friends are not allowed to answer any of your phone calls, and they have to set your jacket on fire and then spit in your face next time they see you. (Apparently, it's one of those kinds of concerts.)

The Republican Party of Florida has told its members that they will be forbidden from supporting Gov. Charlie Crist if he decides to run as an independent.

In an internal memorandum issued Thursday and provided to CNN, RPOF General Counsel Jason Gonzalez concluded that the "Party Loyalty Oath," Rule 9 of the party's bylaws, would forbid executive committee members from providing "active, public or financial support" to any candidate other than the one with "Republican" next to his or her name on the ballot.

And you'll obviously have to vomit up all the drinks your friends bought for you while you were inside…

Cornyn says he wants contributions he made from his leadership PAC back, and he says other Florida donors are seeking the same. "I think in addition to seeing his coffers depleted" by refunding contributions, Cornyn says, "his ability to raise money as an independent will be dramatically down."

Fun concert. Can't imagine why Crist would even consider leaving.

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Update: Crist left the concert.

Tags: Charlie Crist, Florida, John Cornyn, Republicans, Senate