• "Family Values" Congressperson Resigns Over "Family Values" Sex Scandal

    "Family values conservative" congressperson resigns from office after being caught having a sex affair with woman who is not his wife. Yawn…

    Eight-term Indiana Rep. Mark Souder was announcing his resignation Tuesday after admitting to an affair with a female aide who worked in his district office. Souder, a Republican, will will step down on Friday. He said in remarks obtained by Fox News that he "sinned against God, my wife and my family by having a mutual relationship with a part-time member of my staff."…

    Sources told Fox News that the aide, identified as Tracy Jackson, a woman in her mid-40s, would accompany the congressman to events and to record ads at a Christian radio broadcast station. Elected as a family values conservative as part of the Republican revolution in 1994, Souder survived a tough re-election challenge in 2008 and survived a contested primary two weeks ago.

    Alright, D.C. Come on, now. You're really getting lazy with these supposed scandals of yours. Sure, there was a time when everyone would be all like, "What? But he's a 'family values conservative'! He's not supposed to do that. But we've since learned that "family values conservative" is a euphemism for "guy who likes to dress up in leather bunny suits and spank people in diapers." These things aren't shocking anymore.

    Zzzzzzzzzz… Wake me up when a "family values conservative" wrestles a giant Gila Monster or rides his motorcycle over a cyclone or something. Or, I don't know, when one ends up having "family values."


    Tags: House of Representatives, Indiana, Mark Souder, Republicans, Sex

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