Why Shouldn't the Gays Be Just as Un-Gay (in the Traditional Sense of the Word) as the Rest of Us?

Seriously, people! The Gays have had it easy for far too long. Having all kinds of sex and fun and stuff. That shit just ain't American. What they need is to settle down, discard their dreams and start getting miserable just like the rest of us…

From pee on the toilet seat to annoying in-laws, actors Justin Long and Mike White have teamed up for "Make Homosexuals Marry," a video campaign designed to show that gay people struggle with the same miseries as other married couples.

Long and White star as Devin and Glenn, a couple that meets at a pride parade, marries, and quickly devolves into a pet-focused life of no sex and bad nutrition.

Now, all they'll need is to adopt some kids that they can screw up, get divorced and foster bitter rivalries that spur on years of mental anguish, and they'll be the perfect American family.

Watch the video here.