• Glenn Beck's New Soon-to-Be-Bestseller Is Gonna Be a Bestseller For Sure!

    It appears as though Glenn Beck is making the leap from bestselling author of paranoid political opinion to bestselling author of paranoid political fiction. That's right, he's about to release a new book Kevin Grisham-esque thriller called The Overton Window, after a political theory popular amongst libertarians about the shifting range of what is considered acceptable political policy. (You know how Glenn Beck likes to read big piles of prop books, right?)

    Obviously, this is hilarious news. And there is a 112 percent chance that I will be "reading" the audiobook version of this book for the same reason that I am "reading" the audiobook version of the Left Behind series. Because life is too short to not subject oneself to third-grade-reading-level unintentional self-satire. I am not made of stone, people.

    However, a lot of people are justifiably making fun of this book for unjustifiable reasons. The just-released trailer for this book (Yep! A trailer for the book!) features the excerpt from Rudyard Kipling's poem "The Gods of the Copybook Headings"…

    As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
    There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
    That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
    And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

    And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
    When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
    As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
    The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

    These verses — which, I'm assuming people think was written by Beck — are supposed proof of how crazy and, um, poemy the book is gonna be. As if there's any fucking chance in the world that Glenn Beck is capable of writing anything even approaching the level of quality. Has anybody ever seen this person talk? If that poem is reprinted in the book, I guaran-fucking-tee it will be the stand-out section by about six orders of magnitude.

    And, really, why make fun of that poem when there's this goldmine of comedy that is the synopsis on Amazon?

    For Noah Gardner, a twentysomething public relations executive, it's safe to say that political theory is the furthest thing from his mind. Smart, single, handsome, and insulated from the world's problems by the wealth and power of his father, Noah is far more concerned about the future of his social life than the future of his country.

    But all of that changes when Noah meets Molly Ross, a woman who is consumed by the knowledge that the America we know is about to be lost forever. She and her group of patriots have vowed to remember the past and fight for the future — but Noah, convinced they're just misguided conspiracy-theorists, isn't interested in lending his considerable skills to their cause.

    And then the world changes.

    Oh no! I wonder if this brash young man who only thinks about himself will suddenly turn his life around 180-degrees — Kirk Cameron's character in every movie Kirk Cameron has ever been in-style — and join the good fight against social progressives who are trying to manipulate The Overton Window so as to reshape America as a Communist Nazi state?! I sure hope so!


    Tags: Books, Glenn Beck

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