• It Is Quite Possible That South Carolina Democrats Elected Alvin Greene Because of Stupid

    Have you noticed that newly-nominated senatorial candidate Alvin Greene's name sounds somewhat like 1970s gospel and soul singer Reverend Al Green? No, I didn't either. I guess we're just not as sharp as those Democratic voters down in South Carolina. 'Cause they, apparently, were all over that shit…

    As much as I'd like to make fun of this lady, I really can't. I've been there. You see, I'm kind of ashamed to admit it now, but back in '92, I voted for Ross Perot. Because he reminded me of a Jawa.

    And then, when I voted for Perot again in '96, I was really into Tales from the Crypt at the time, and he had a kind of a Crypt Keeper thing going on with his face. Then in 2000, even though he wasn't running, I voted for him as a write-in candidate because I was hungry and he reminded me of a Slim Jim. In '04, I voted for Ralph Nader because he reminded me of Ross Perot. And then in '08, I wrote-in voted for Perot again because his name is vaguely similar to 1970s gospel and soul singer Reverend Al Green. In 2012, I'm planning to grow a porn 'stache and vote for him in a kind of ironic, hipster anti-vote kind of way.

    But, really, I feel terrible about it.

    Tags: Alvin Greene, Music, Ross Perot, Senate, South Carolina


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