Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize to:

…BP, for soaking up all your valuable oil with our worthless pelicans.

…England for tying you guys in the world cup. If there was a do-over, we'd totally give you back that goal.

…Germany, for D-Day. Seems like you guys would have really liked to keep all of Europe. how about we just give you Texas for your troubles. Fair trade?

…The Confederacy for taking all your slaves away. Totally a shakedown move on our part. Sorry.

…Hurricane Katrina.

Nice work, Internet.

Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Corporations, Energy & Oil, Environment, Germany, House of Representatives, Joe Barton, Money, Texas, Tony Hayward, United Kingdom