• Fourth of July Stand-Up: We're All Heroes

    If I was an alien from another planet, had to write a report on America and my one point of reference was Earthling stand-up comedy, my opening sentence would be "America is full of lovable jerks." Here are a few more bullet points for my benevolent leader…

    * You don't want to hang out with an American, but you also don't want to fuck with them (especially in a McDonald's).

    * Americans know all the coolest places to be and who to be there with (for example, the Moon).

    * All non-Americans hate all Americans and all non-Americans can suck it — these colors don't run.

    So, from the outer reaches of my home planet, Happy Fourth of July. Enjoy some Earthling stand-up about America and everything that makes America so America from John Oliver, Craig FergusonArj Barker and more. End communication.

    John Oliver



    There's more America after the jump.

    Arj Barker



    Patrice O'Neal



    Craig Ferguson



    Rory Albanese



    Iliza Shlesinger



    Mo Mandel



    Bret Ernst




    Tags: 4th of July, Comedians, John Oliver, megan gray, Video

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