If I was an alien from another planet, had to write a report on America and my one point of reference was Earthling stand-up comedy, my opening sentence would be "America is full of lovable jerks." Here are a few more bullet points for my benevolent leader…
* You don't want to hang out with an American, but you also don't want to fuck with them (especially in a McDonald's).
* Americans know all the coolest places to be and who to be there with (for example, the Moon).
* All non-Americans hate all Americans and all non-Americans can suck it — these colors don't run.
So, from the outer reaches of my home planet, Happy Fourth of July. Enjoy some Earthling stand-up about America and everything that makes America so America from John Oliver, Craig Ferguson, Arj Barker and more. End communication.
There's more America after the jump.
Tags: 4th of July, Comedians, John Oliver, megan gray, Video