• [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People Speak to Abraham Lincoln Through the Pen of Tea Party Spokesperson

    Earlier this week, we linked to a statement that Tea Party Express spokesperson Mark Williams made in response to NAACP allegations that the Tea Party needs to get rid of the racists that give its movement a bad name, and it kind of made us wonder if "spokesperson" is actually the best job for him. Like, did they maybe not have any open positions in the Department of Hidden Away in a Locked Closet?

    Anyway, turns out our concerns were completely unfounded, as evidenced by this heartfelt open letter to Abraham Lincoln written on behalf of "[National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People" everywhere that Mr. Williams thoughtfully posted to his personal blog yesterday

    By the way, on a completely different note, how do you say "Yikes!" in Racist?

    Dear Mr. Lincoln

    We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!

    In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the 'tea party movement'… And the ridiculous idea of "reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government." What kind of world would we have is I  ever  to control and be responsible for my life own? As [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions and if you do not agree than there is not enough Colored in your People, as we labeled Ken Gladney…

    Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by someone else. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we say that belong.

    I think that settles that. There is clearly not an embarrassing amount of racism present in the Tea Party movement. If there were, how could Mr. Williams so understand the way that [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People think and talk so well?

    No official word yet from America's [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People, but I'm quite sure they're all quite thankful to Mr. Williams for speaking so eloquently on their behalf.

    (via Pensito Review)

    Tags: 14th Amendment, Abraham Lincoln, Constitution, Mark Williams, NAACP, Racism, Slavery, Tea Party, Tea Party Express


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