• Michele Bachman Wants GOP-Run House to Do Nothing but Issue Subpoenas, Back and Forth, Forever

    Michele Bachmann — chairbagger of the brand new congressional Tea Party Caucus (Ed. note: Hahahahahahahaha!) — has some big plans for when the Republicans retake the House of Representatives in Novemeber. Some big important plans. Some big important serious plans.

    Well, some big plans, at any rate

    If Republicans take the House, Bachmann was asked at the GOP Youth Convention in Washington, "how do you feel about the chances for like a little oversight and a little accountability now that the Republicans will have the subpoena power – how aggressive do you think…"

    "Oh, I think that's all we should do," Bachmann said. "I think that all we should do is issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another. And expose all the nonsense that is gone on. And it's very important when we come back that we have constitutional conservative leadership because the American people's patience is about this big. So we have to make sure that we do what the people want us to do."

    Well, that kind of behavior would certainly expose a lot of "the nonsense that is gone on."

    I have to admit that there's actually a certain place in the pit of my soul that is longing to see what a Congress in which people like Michele Bachmann and Sharron Angle and Rand Paul are major power players — one in which moronic bullshit like like this is de rigueurwould will look like. And then, fuck it, let's just get Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck in the White House. And let's make our science teachers preach the Bible in the classroom, and let's officially make Phyllis Schlafly a Founding Mother and make it illegal for brown people to walk around without their Citizenship Badge.

    Let's push this as far as it'll go and see what the inevitable implosion will look like. It's like when you're playing Grand Theft Auto and you start to get bored so you use your bazooka on a cop car and then go on a murderous rampage, trying to see how many stars you can acquire before eventually getting gunned down in an alleyway after katana-ing a hooker's head off of her shoulders.

    Actually, I think that could maybe be the GOP's new slogan. Wouldn't matter. They're still gonna retake the House.

    Tags: House of Representatives, Michele Bachmann, Phyllis Schlafly, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Tea Party


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.