Tworld News: Week of August 23, 2010

All the fun and hilarity of listening to NPR plus all the fun and hilarity of something actually fun and hilarious…

Former GOP chairman Ken Mehlman came out of the closet: this is old news to anyone who was smart enough to play the award-winning film MILK backwards through their VCR.

Glenn Beck's 'restoring honor' rally served as the perfect reminder that amidst confusing diversity and unsettling social complexities, at least we can all agree on one thing: God roolz.

More Tworld News after the jump…

John McCain survives primary. In other news, John McCain survives.

Bristol Palin joining the cast of Dancing With The Stars only reaffirms what Beck was saying– there's truly nothing sacred anymore in this damned country.

First we leave Iraq, then suddenly all the free oil stops coming out of the ocean? Coincidence? I think not.

Paris Hilton blah cocaine blah (insert double entendre using the word 'blow').

It seems only reasonable to assume that the recalled eggs all came from the same slutty hen. Salmonella is pretty much just herpes, right?

Overheard someone saying that the Emmys were surprisingly entertaining this year. Is there anything horrible left we can count on? Here's to hoping worldwide genocide, hunger, and civil rights abuses can fill the void for a few more centuries.

Alright, asshole, don't make that face like you 'always knew' gypsies were real.

If Iran can have nuclear energy then I can have as much Claritin D as I want. End of story.

You know you want more, follow @TheInDecider

Tags: 8/28 Rally, Arizona, Bristol Palin, Cocaine, Drugs, Energy & Oil, France, Glenn Beck, Gulf Coast, Haggard's Law, Iran, Iraq, John McCain, Ken Mehlman, LGBT, Paris Hilton, Primaries, Republicans, Senate, The Emmys, Tworld News, United Nations