Glenn Beck Launches New "News" Website

You've got to hand it to Glenn Beck. He knows that an effectively narrow worldview must strangle out any opinions and/or verifiable facts about reality that do not contribute to the structure as has been meticulously crafted by one's self. The problem is, if you don't offer a service, people will be forced to go elsewhere to seek it out. And that can be dangerous!

So, with that in mind, Glenn Beck just launched The Blaze, a news site for people who think Fox Nation is too hoity-toity and objective.

Beck and his team put it together in a relatively short amount of time, apparently. And it really shows. The thing is fucking riddled with errors. Take, for example, Beck's introduction to the website. I took the time to put my old proofreading skills to work, and just look at all the corrections I made in just the first three paragraphs…

If you are like a disciple of me, watching the news or reading the paper can be an exercise in exasperation frustrating due to those rare moments of journalistic objectivity. It's so hard to find a place that helps me make sense of reinforce the child-like narrative that I have constructed for myself concerning the world as I would prefer to see it.

Too many important make believe stories are overlooked. And too many times we see mainstream media outlets distorting reporting facts to fit rigid agendas. Not that you’ve ever heard me complain about the media before. Okay, maybe once or twice.

But there comes a time when you have to stop complaining and do something add another story to your high rise ministry of propaganda. And so we decided to hire some actual journalists dudes I know to launch a new website — The Blaze. And we moved fast. We built the team and the site in just two months. Because, really, who gives a fuck?

Come on, guys. You could have taken an extra week to work out all the kinks, could you have?