• Tworld News: Week of August 30, 2010

    Comedians on Twitter are the best thing to happen to the news cycle since the sculpting of Anderson Cooper's perfect face…

    Hopefully the cost of building a rescue tunnel won't force Chili's to cut their unbeatable $20 dinner-for-two deal.

    More Tworld News after the jump…

    Taking hostages at a documentary-based cable network's headquarters to advance your political views always seems like a foolproof plan on paper.

    Don't worry Earl, the chicks are just as aroused by tropical storms as they are by hurricanes…but by 'chicks' I mean 'drug-dealing, pregnant hookers with little to no understanding of meteorology,' and by 'aroused by' I mean 'aroused by'.

    Jan Brewer seems to be aHEAD of Goddard in the polls. Must be because she's got a good HEAD on her shoulders. Or because Mexicans are always cutting off people's HEADS. See what we did there?

    Dear Google and Apple, please stop trying to do the 'social' thing. None of my friends need to know that I have a reminder to 'make cupcakes' for Orlando Bloom's birthday on my Google Calendar or that I listened straight through the Andrew Lloyd Webber 'Premiere Collection' two-disc set today. Twice.

    In the famous words of T.I., "You can have whatever you like"… until the cops show up, then maybe not so much.

    Stephen Hawking's new book claims that a God figure wasn't necessary in the creation of the Universe, yet it neglects to explain how that could possibly be true in a world where millions of people have access to 'Charlie Bit My Finger'.

    Everyone needs to chill out, it's the year 2010 people, we can just print another copy off of Google Images.

    Why didn't everybody just hop over the earthquake? Like a kangaroo. Cause New Zealand is near Australia. Where apparently there are kangaroos.

    'Labor Day' happened– or as it's more commonly known, "No, not Fourth of July. No, dammit, not Memorial Day either, the other one. You know what I mean. That other one."

    Get back to work… actually, follow @TheInDecider first. And then get back to work.

    Tags: Apple, Arizona, Chile, James Jay Lee, Jan Brewer, New Zealand, Oprah Winfrey, Religion, Science & Technology, Stephen Hawking, Tworld News, Weather


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