• Eric Cartman to Lead North Korea to Glorious Ruin

    OMG! That delighted, high-pitched, government-mandated collective squee you heard yesterday was the sound of every North Korean girl forcibly expressing "joy." The generous government in Pyongyang released the first-ever public photograph of Kim Jong-Un, the twenty-something understudy for the role of Evil Dictator currently filled by his dad, Kim Jong-Il. And he bears a remarkable resemblance to one Eric Cartman!

    But let's look behind the young heartbreaker's facade and find out more about Kim Jong-Un, the purported future leader of the world's most diplomatically isolated country. Take it away, New York Times

    Earlier this week, at a landmark meeting of the Workers’ Party in Pyongyang, the younger Mr. Kim, who is believed to be 27 or 28, was given the rank of four-star general in the People’s Army and was named a deputy chairman of the party’s military commission. He also became a member of the Central Committee of the party, an ideological and policy-making post.

    On Thursday, North Korean state media released a picture of Kim Jong-un, news agencies reported. Very little is known about the heir apparent, and few pictures of him have been seen publicly, both in Korea and in the outside world.

    Oh, well that clears things up. Let's fill in the blanks. Based on the official photograph, we can assume that young Kim Jong-un finds official photography sessions to be rather dull, or at least not joyful. We can also rest assured that while thousands of other North Koreans (particularly children) may be dying each month from starvation, Kim Jr. has access to all the Cheesy Poofs he can handle. Om nom nom, Kim Jong-un!

    Tags: Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, South Park


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