• Every Conservative Wants to Make Out With AZ Sheriff

    Maricopa County, AZ Sheriff Joe Arpaio is not unlike the village tricycle: every whiny pants-shitting toddler wants a ride. Sheriff Arpaio is the fellow whose obsession with sending undocumented immigrants back over the Border has made him a right-wing dreamboat and the target of a Justice Department investigation on racial profiling.

    The "man" himself recently bragged about his popularity

    "Tomorrow, I’m going up to Colorado to help out Tancredo; I helped that gal in Nevada, Angle," Sheriff Arpaio said, referring to former Representative Tom Tancredo, who is running for governor in Colorado, and Sharron Angle, the Republican Senate nominee in Nevada. "I'm a poster boy on this issue."

    Yes, Sheriff Arpaio is not unlike Zac Efron, or perhaps a Jonas Brother. Except that instead of singing and dancing and dating tweenage superstarlets, Arpaio prefers to spend quiet evenings raiding Latino neighborhoods and rooting out entire families of terrified, impoverished, hard-working brown people.

    If not for brave citizens like Sheriff Arpaio, our nation would suffer from an even greater availability of busboys, landscapers, nannies and migrant farmworkers. He is the sexiest hero in the Greater Phoenix area, and therefore the world.

    Tags: Arizona, Colorado, Immigration, Joe Arpaio, Nevada, Republicans, Senate, Sharron Angle, Tom Tancredo


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