• White House Pulls a Total Social Faux Pas

    Hospitality FAIL!

    This week, the White House totally went all "Mean Girls" on a bunch of international visitors at the Diplomatic Corps Reception and left them out in the cold, grody Washington, D.C. afternoon. Approximately 30 diplomats showed up with their IDs and everything, but the White House bouncer was all, "Um, you're not cool enough, maybe try Ben's Chili Bowl or the Starbucks at the Hyatt instead, losers." Well, okay, he didn't say that out loud, but you know it's what he was thinking when he pretended that the guest list had gotten all effed up.

    Here's how the White House tried to cover their classic Queen Bitch move

    "At the start of the reception for Chiefs of Mission and Charges d'Affaires, a few guests were delayed at the entrance to the White House due to an error in processing their personal data," said Ben Chang, a spokesman for the National Security Council. "While eventually resolved, we regret that some departed due to the delay and apologize to those inconvenienced."

    Like the popular teen head cheerleaders to whom he is most often compared, Pakistani ambassador Husain Haqqani* was all, "Eff this, I'm outtie!" and totally bounced. Joining him was fellow scorned hottie Hunaina bint Sultan bin Ahmad al-Mughairi, the ambassador from Oman. Everybody knows that Hunaina bint Sultan bin Ahmad al-Mughairi is a total B-lister. Besides, her peaceful, prosperous "country" is 75% Ibadhi Muslim, which is some kind of Islam that isn't Shia or Sunni and which therefore does not exist.

    Now, if this actually wasn't all a snotty social ploy by Barack Obama, the White House really looks lame. Next time, the guy who runs the door should just print out the "Yes" list straight from the Facebook event invite. That's what we do, and our last party was a rousing success. We didn't diss Hunaina bint Sultan bin Ahmad al-Mughairi, that's for damn sure. She seriously had the best time ever, or at least that's what she said on our Facebook Wall the next day.

    Update: It has come to our attention that Hunaina bint Sultan bin Ahmad al-Mughairi's pronouns were all Bowie-esquely sexually confused. The problem has been corrected. We sincerely regret any mental anguish which may have been caused by our grievous error.


    * Husain Haqqani had, in the past, managed to make it past Daily Show security.

    Tags: Pakistan, White House


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