• Barry On, My Wayward Son

    Oh, Barack Obama. If you are indeed a Muslamic Africanish person like all the genius whites in the Tea Party say, then you are clearly a member of one of those nomadic tribes over there in the Sahara. For, you see, it appears you love to wander to and fro, hither and yon.

    Look at your itinerary! Why, just this week you stopped in Washington and California, and look at what you're up to next week!

    The president makes three stops on Oct. 30, a week from tomorrow: Philadelphia, Pa., Bridgeport, Conn.; and finally his hometown of Chicago, Ill. All three of those states feature tight Nov. 2 races for the U.S. Senate, and could determine whether Democrats or Republicans control the chamber.

    On Sunday, Oct. 31, Obama and Vice President Biden will journey to Cleveland for a rally.

    Hmmmm… The Halloween rally sounds fine and dandy, but what are you doing in PA, CT, and IL on October 30th?! Don't you know there's a thing going on that a couple of guys at this company have been planning for literally days?! Haven't you been watching Fox News? They say the Dems are basically finished, forever, on November 2nd, and the whole party is just gonna dissolve and we will at long last be a one-party nation ruled by fascist hatemongers.

    So, y'know, why not come hang out with the rest of us on the National Mall and throw a sort of Irish wake with a nice Jewish boy and a sorta-French guy? This is absolutely what you should do, on the eve of the eve of the eve of the self-immolation of your Party of Evil.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Connecticut, Illinois, Midterms, Pennsylvania


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