• Poor Michelle Obama Thinks We're Better Than We Are

    First Lady Michelle Obama is obviously awesome. She's brilliant, beautiful, fashionable, and she is not afraid to shoot That Look at her husband in public when she thinks he's being a dumbass.

    But sometimes we get the feeling that her expectations of We the People are a little, well, inflated. There's the vegetable thing of course, with growing actual natural food at the White House as an example of what this nation of fat, lazy slobs should do in our own backyards. It's kind of adorable that she thinks the average American is going to take a break from his or her busy schedule of mainlining Mountain Dew and watching Leno in order to plant a frigging tomato.

    But in the lead-up to the midterm elections, Mrs. Obama has gone and made another sweetly unrealistic request of her slothlike fellow citizens…

    Awww, Michelle. There you go again, believing we are actually capable of something other than parasitic destruction of our environment and of world culture. That is so cute. The video betrays your heartbreakingly sincere belief that Americans are engaged and enthusiastic participants in representative democracy.

    Unfortunately, you're going to have a sad day on November 3rd, when data reveals that 1% of the population showed up to vote the previous day, and that said 1% consisted entirely of Wal-Mart loyalists with a fondness for keeping guns in unlocked cabinets in their children's playrooms.

    Hooray for Real America!

    Tags: Election Day, Michelle Obama


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