Tim Profitt — who apparently is not a character in a Louis L'Amour novel but is the recently-fired Bourbon County coordinator for Rand Paul's senatorial campaign (close enough) who's being brought up on assault charges after stomping a liberal protester in the head — has decided to break his long several-hour silence and give his heart-breaking side of the tragic head-stomping story…
"I don't think it's that big of a deal," Profitt said. "I would like for her to apologize to me to be honest with you."
Of course you would. You've totally got an apology coming. I'm thinking something like this would be nice: "I am so, so, sooooo sorry that I got my head under your foot just when you were about to smash it down forcefully onto the hard concrete of the sidewalk. It was quite rude of me, and I am ever so embarrassed for my actions. I do so hope that the strain of cracking my skull beneath your heel did not contribute to your debilitating back pain."
"She's a professional at what she does," Profitt added, "and I think when all the facts come out, I think people will see that she was the one that initiated the whole thing."
I realize that Lauren Valle is a professional protester for MoveOn. Now, I've never met a professional protester, I don't think. But I've met plenty of hobbyist protesters, and I'll admit that they can inspire some violent mental imagery. But, dude, you've gotta keep those images inside your brain.
The thing is, if a person can trick you into getting her head stomped on the pavement by you, you need some help. Because you're going to go through life as a recurrent victim. People are going to be constantly taking advantage of your emotional feebleness and bamboozling you into stomping on their heads. Is that what you want? A life full of unintentional head stomping?
I don't think that's what you want, Tim Proffitt. Seek help, please. Consider this an stompervention.
Tags: Kentucky, Midterms, Protesters, Rand Paul, Senate, Tim Proffitt