Hello, citizens of the People's Republic of UncleSamistan! 'Tis I, your devoted Comedy Central Indecision Delegate, Sara Benincasa, here to present you with a highly serious, potentially groundbreaking investigative report from our nation's capital. By the way, said capital is Washington, D.C., which is a district and not a state. Were you aware of this fact? Probably not! That is why I am here, to educate you on the finer points of citizenship.
To that end, I traveled into the heart of the city with a top-notch Indecision crew in order to consider how history might have changed if some of our great American presidents had possessed important objects like smartphones and laptop computers. I also examined what effect The Internets might have had on life in the olden tymes. And in my pursuit of truth, I learned a few things: First, history lasted for a really long time. Second, there are a lot of National Historic Landmarks in Washington, D.C. Third, you are not allowed to shoot a humorous joke-video at the foot of that giant Lincoln statue/thing unless you have something called a "permit." Zounds!
And now, behold the fruits of our laborious labors. Let us journey deep into the most exciting city in the history of cities and consider: "What If He'd Had Modern Technology?" In this case, the pronoun "he" refers to any one of a number of past American chief executives. Do you comprehend this concept? Excellent! You are now prepared to watch the best thing that has ever been captured on video. Tally-ho!
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Al Gore, Cramming for Midterms, George W. Bush, Internet, Midterms, Rally to Restore Sanity, Sara Benincasa, Science & Technology, Video, Washington DC, William Henry Harrison, William Howard Taft