• Amazing True Voting Stories! – Canton, Michigan

    I showed up at my voting location today like everyone else: expecting to get machete'd to death by The New Black Panthers or musket'd to death by The Tea Party. Well, as you can see in the picture below, there wasn't a New Black Panther or Tea Partier to be found, just lots of well-hidden ninjas, and they weren't in a killing mood, so I unfortunately had to vote.

    There were two particularly interesting things about today's experience. First of all, it was the only time in my life when I've been fairly certain that every single candidate I chose is going to lose, at least since I stopped voting a straight Whig ticket. So that was kind of weird. And it's not like I'm in love with any of my candidates of choice either, so casting my ballot gave me the same feeling of futility I get whenever I buy a ticket for a raffle where there's a 10,000,000 to 1 chance of winning a case of furnace filters. Democracy!

    The other thing of note concerns my district's State Senate race, which has a surprising Comedy Central angle (synergy!) One of the two independent candidates is a guy named John Stewart, and he's running against a Tea Party-endorsed Republican named Colbeck, who I can only hope is some sort of genetic amalgam of Stephen Colbert and Glenn Beck. Unfortunately for both Stewart and Colbeck though, I didn't vote for either of them, instead casting my ballot for Whig candidate Cartman Battlebots.

    Tags: Amazing True Voting Stories!, Michigan, Midterms


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