The Onion: Pentagon to Withhold Budget Figures Out of Respect for American Families

Awwwww… The Onion offers the kind of story that really warms your heart during the holiday season*…

"Disclosing the cost of even one Patriot missile could seriously damage the morale of a nation just trying to keep food on the table," Defense Secretary Robert Gates said of the new policy. "It would be a slap in the face to all the hardworking citizens who continue to struggle and sacrifice day after day."

Gates added that revealing the expense of maintaining America's military presence in more than 150 nations worldwide might also break the spirits of returning veterans unable to obtain adequate health care.

They're right. Ive seen the number. Well, not the actual number, but simulations of it. The actual is not safely quantifiable at this point and must be kept hidden away in a vacuum tube.

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^{* On account of they have those microwave lasers now that can cook your internal organs from three miles away.}

Tags: Economy, Health Care, Military, Money, Pentagon, The Onion, Veterans