• Bryan Fischer, Your Full Metal Straight Jacket Is Now Ready. FIGHT ME!

    In response to a Wall Street Journal article about Medal of Honor winner, Salvatore Giunta, Christian activist Bryan Fischer, is speaking out against what he calls the “feminization” of the military’s highest honor.

    “When we think of heroism in battle, we used the think of our boys storming the beaches of Normandy under withering fire, climbing the cliffs of Pointe du Hoc while enemy soldiers fired straight down on them, and tossing grenades into pill boxes to take out gun emplacements.

    We now award it only for preventing casualties, not for inflicting them.

    So the question is this: when are we going to start awarding the Medal of Honor once again for soldiers who kill people and break things, so our families can sleep safely at night?”

    First of all, Bryan, I’m not entirely certain you're thinking of “heroism in battle” as much as you're thinking of “opening scene in Saving Private Ryan.”

    Secondly, our preoccupation with Brett Favre’s penis and 4 a.m. Black Friday deals tend to suggest that “our families” are sleeping pretty fucking safely. IN FACT, I would argue that the only families who are NOT sleeping safely are the ones who lie awake wondering if their sons/brothers/husbands are being blown to bits in Iraq or Afghanistan. And, of course, through his heroism, Sgt. Giunta actually DID help those families sleep better at night.

    Thirdly, Bryan, if the point of your tirade is that you think we should award medals for killing the enemy AND for saving lives, fine. But I would ask YOU two questions:

    (1) What “awards” do you propose we hand out for the accidental killing of people who AREN’T the enemy? I mean, even Call of Duty penalizes players for killing friendlies. Don't you think we should AT LEAST operate at the same ethical level as our nation's gamers/40-yr old virgins?


    (2) Have you ever considered the fact that the reason it’s hard to award medals for taking the lives of “the enemy” is that we’ve managed to be as opaque as possible in defining WHO our enemy even is?

    Not to mention, even if we COULD define “the enemy,” MAYBE the reason we don’t routinely praise our soldiers for killing them is because praising people for taking lives, rather than saving them, is exactly what our "enemies" do.


    Jason Mustian is a comedian who pees sitting down and lives in New York City with his wife, who, to the best of his knowledge, also pees sitting down.

    Tags: Afghanistan, Bryan Fischer, FIGHT ME!, Iraq


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