• Democrats Lose the Battle on Taxes, But Win the War on Being Useless

    So, unless you've read a newspaper, watched television, or talked to any other person in the country in the past two days, you've probably not heard that the White House has caved to Republican pressure to continue the Bush Tax Cuts for needy gazillionaires.

    Here, you can can watch the President's moral center collapse in real time via this video provided by The White House…

    Warning: Do not watch the preceding video before attempting to engage in sexual congress, as it is has been proven by science to literally drain the testosterone from your body.

    Obviously, this all comes as a huge shock to anybody who has completely unrealistic expectations about the size of this administration's testicles, has not yet figured out that our country is in essence an oligarchy, and hasn't been been paying attention to anything in politics since forever. Who (except for most people in the planet) could have possibly predicted that things would happen this way?! Especially since David Axelrod pretty much promised they would be acquiescing to Republicans a whole month ago. They zigged when they said they were gonna zig! How very sneaky of them!

    Anyway, Joe Biden is been sent into the hamster's den today to attempt to explain to congressional Democrats why — even though this all looks like a really embarrassing and pathetic display by the administration — it's actually not completely embarrassing and pathetic. And even kind of empowering if you look at it at just the right angle with the proper lighting

    White House aides said Vice President Joe Biden will ask Democratic lawmakers to swallow their objections to the administration's proposed compromise with the GOP when he attends a closed luncheon with senators at the Capitol. Obama's plan would extend Bush-era tax cuts for all Americans, including the richest, while also extending unemployment benefits and reducing payroll taxes for a year…

    "We will continue discussions with the president and our caucus in the days ahead," [Nancy] Pelosi, D-Calif., said in a statement issued 18 hours after Obama laid out his plan.

    Before the GOP assumes the House majority next month, the White House wants Congress to take up ratification of a new nuclear treaty with Russia, then address the Dream Act, a measure to give young people whose parents brought them into the U.S. illegally a path to legal status. Democrats also want to vote on whether to repeal the military's policy that prevents gays from serving openly in the armed services.

    And everybody has extremely high hopes that those initiatives will go over super excellent! The Democrats are totally gonna do it this time!*


    * Nobody actually thinks this.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats, Economy, House of Representatives, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Senate, Taxes


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.