Once upon a time, there was a United States Congress. But this wasn't just any United States Congress. It was a gray and filthy and anti-American United States Congress.
You see, two long years of rule by an evil ice witch named Nancy Pelosi had left the once-noble institution covered in a thick film of mucky, unpatriotic, gay-friendly, liberal, moral turpitude. And that made everybody in the country sad.
But then, one day, a team of America-loving Tea Partiers burst through the door and stormed the congressional floor with a magical scroll. This wasn't just any magic scroll. It was the Constitution of the United States of America (plus 3 to hill giants)…
When Republicans take over the House next week, they will do something that apparently has never been done before in the chamber's 221-year history: They will read the Constitution aloud.
And then they will require that every new bill contain a statement by the lawmaker who wrote it citing the constitutional authority to enact the proposed legislation.
And as the magic scroll was read, all of the liberal muck that had covered every inch of the congressional floor was magically washed away.
And all was right once again.
Tags: Constitution, House of Representatives, Republicans, Tea Party