• Tworld News: Week of January 12, 2011

    Just when you thought you had heard every stroke-related Dick Clark joke, or when you somehow thought it impossible to continue to produce those amazing '00 glasses after 2009, yet another new year has rolled around and there's no rest for the tweary– 2011 is ready to get its relevant news gleefully bastardized by Twitter. Join the party!

    This is gonna be just like the days when Tom DeLay was the WHIP for DICK ARM(e)Y.

    Rumors of John Edwards proposing to Rielle Hunter deemed false– everything else about John Edwards cheating on his dying wife and impregnating Rielle Hunter still true.

    Awesome mustaches just don't get the respect they deserve anymore. Damn hipsters ruin everything for Mark Twain.

    This story reminds me of a dream in which I met Jeff Daniels and told him that I "actually appreciated Fly Away Home". And then he started shooting thousands of innocent birds out of the sky. That second part, more specifically, is what reminded me of it.

    Homeless guy with golden voice manages to make all other homeless people feel even shittier about their lives.

    "Wait, did I fall asleep or just totally zone out during the part where it talks about God?"

    Down with Obamacare! See what I did there? I took the President's last name and then the second half of the term 'healthcare.' And I made it one word. Pretty good, right?

    Wait, wait, wait. Eliot Spitzer? You mean the guy who…? With the…? Who did the…? And then was involved in a prostitution scandal with a woman named Ashley Dupre through an organization known as Emperors Club VIP? Nope, never heard of him.

    We tweet, you decide whether or not to follow us. Hopefully you do. @TheIndecider

    Tags: Constitution, Eliot Spitzer, Health Care, John Edwards, Tom DeLay, Tworld News


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