• Evil Anti-Hooker Forces Persecute Berlusconi

    Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy is easily the best EU leader to invite to a party. Unlike Sarkozy, who would just spend all his time talking about sex with his hot wife (booooo-ring), Berlusconi would show up with a nice Montepulciano and proceed to regale you with tales of hot group sex parties with PROFESSIONAL SEX LADIES! You know, allegedly. And now he's under investigation for these alleged activities, just because some of them allegedly took place with a teenage hooker.

    Oh, and he allegedly used all his fancy connections to get her out of jail when she got popped for stealing…

    Silvio Berlusconi has been formally placed under investigation on suspicion of paying for sex with a 17-year old girl, according to a statement issued today by prosecutors in Milan.

    He was further accused of abusing his position as Italy's prime minister by bringing pressure to bear on the police to cover up his alleged relationship with the girl, who was working as a prostitute. The two alleged offences carry sentences totalling 15 years in jail.

    This particular report comes to us via the Guardian, a British paper that is full of silly British spellings and is therefore entirely untrustworthy. Let's consult a source from some other country to see if this isn't all just a giant limey lie. Tell us what's up, MSNBC and the Associated Press

    The girl said in newspaper interviews that she had been at the premier's villa and that she lied about being over 18. She denied having sex with the premier.

    The girl has in the meantime turned 18.

    So, she was at his villa. So freakin' what? She was probably just there to tell him about the concerns of young, sexy teenage ladies. And even she says they didn't bonk. Plus, she's totally legal now. In conclusion, Silvio Berlusconi is a saint and a role model and should be beatified just like John Paul II.


    Tags: Crime, Italy, Nicolas Sarkozy, Sex, Silvio Berlusconi

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.