• LiveBlog: State of the Union: 2011 – The Rise of Boehner

    10:15 – Well, that's that. Meet me over at the next post for the responses from the right.

    10:14 – "I’m not sure how we’ll reach that better place beyond the horizon, but I know we’ll get there." We need a boat of some kind. Hasn't he seen The Truman Show?

    10:11 - Jason Mustian from the Indecision livetweet: "Is Obama planning to talk until the 2012 Election is over? Is that what's going on? #SOTU"

    10:02 – "We have reset our relationship with Russia." You gotta do that sometimes. Otherwise Russia starts to run really slow and Putin takes forever to load.

    10:01 – How much do you think a Bud Lite costs in that place? I'll bet you it's crazy overpriced.

    9:58 – Fact: Congresspeople are legally obligated to standingly ovate whenever someone mentions The Troops.

    9:57 – "No single wall separates East and West." No, it's really more of a foyer.

    9:54 – "We cannot win the future with a government of the past." I don't have a joke for this. I just like it because it reminds me of Back to the Future. (I'm kind of a one issue voter.)

    9:51 – What's that ribbon everyone's wearing? Is that for Rep. Giffords? If so, why isn't Obama wearing one? Was he in on it? Somebody contact Glenn Beck, stat!

    9:50 – "I’m willing to eliminate whatever we can honestly afford to do without. But let’s make sure that we’re not doing it on the backs of our most vulnerable citizens." But they're the easiest backs to do it on. They're already bent over so far.

    9:48 – "This freeze will require painful cuts. Already, we have frozen the salaries of hardworking federal employees for the next two years." One guy thought that was clap-worthy.

    9:44 – You see that? When Obama started talking about Health Care, Joe Biden got into talking some kind of shit to Boehner back there?

    9:42 – What color is Boehner's tie? Is that like a purply-pink? That doesn't really go well with burnt umber.

    9:39 – "Countries in Europe and Russia invest more in their roads and railways than we do." That kinda makes sense. Why would we be investing in Russia's railways? That just seems like a silly thing to use our money for.

    9:37 - "…the millions of undocumented workers who are now living in the shadows." I knew it! Mexicans are of the undead!

    9:34 - Jason Mustian from the Indecision livetweet: "Obama Encourages U.S. to Invest In Future, Possibly With Some Sort of Wall St. Invesment Bank Made Out of a DeLorean #SOTU"

    9:33 – "Become a teacher. Your country needs you." Just don't do it in New Jersey.

    9:30 – "…we’ll show you the money." Somewhere in America, Cuba Gooding Jr. just got his first high five in eight years.

    9:29 – "We need to teach our kids that it’s not just the winner of the Super Bowl who deserves to be celebrated, but the winner of the science fair." Of course a nerd would say that.

    9:27 - "…the first country to have 1 million electric vehicles on the road by 2015." Not good enough, fascist! How about a million electric bicycles?!

    9:25 - Damien Fahey on Twitter: "This is the longest SNL intro EVER!!! #SOTU"

    9:24 – "…planted the seeds for the Internet"? Damn it! All my Al Gore jokes are at the cleaners.

    9:21 – From Michael Ian Black on WitStream

    "I'm pretending there's another guy behind Obama making his arm gestures for him. Makes everything funnier. #sotu"

    9:20 – "The world's fastest computer." Nice to see Romney got name checked.

    9:15 – "The stock market has come roaring back. Corporate profits are up. The economy is growing again."

    I'm so happy for all those poor CEOs. So glad they don't have to eat in budget caviar anymore.

    9:14 – Nancy Pelosi sure seems happy with her new seat, doesn't she? I wonder if real laser beams come out of those eyes.

    9:13 - From the comments: "No Scalia. Shooting up again, I guess." (Not Adam Schramm)

    9:12 - Cue Boehner's tear ducts!

    9:11 - More clapping. At this time? How tacky.

    9:10 – Come on! This isn't the clappy clap clap show.

    9:09 - Apparently there's no assigned seating for this thing. I'm sure my 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Hyer can think of a few reasons why that a bad idea. (Let's just say I won't be surprised if Joe Lieberman gets a jar of pee dumped on his head.)

    9:05 - Mr. Drama Queen is finally entering the room. Had to keep us waiting didn't he? Isn't that just like a president?

    9:01 - So far, there's just a lot of milling. Oh, and that one guy seems to be mulling. Probably some mauling going on off off camera.

    8:51 - Barack Obama's State of the Union address begins in less than ten minutes. I hope that's enough time for him to finish writing it. Crunch time! See you in nine minutes, everyone.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Joe Biden, John Boehner, Liveblog, State of the Union


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.