• Egyptian Army Acting Like a Bunch of Hippies

    Contrary to popular American opinion, Egypt is not just a mythical place invented to enliven the occasional history textbook and Brendan Fraser flick. In fact, it is a real nation with real people and a real army. The people are currently doing something very normal and common that has occurred throughout history (i.e., attempting to overthrow their government.)

    But the army is up to some kind of weird shenanigans we can’t quite fathom

    The Egyptian Army announced Monday for the first time that it would not fire on protesters, even as tens of thousands of people gathered in central Liberation Square for a seventh day to shout for the ouster of President Hosni Mubarak.

    Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. WHOA. Whooooa. An armed branch of the government that refuses to fire on protesters? Is this… some kind of elaborate prank?

    Sure, the protesters and the army seem to be united in their distaste for Mubarak’s triple-decade dictatorship, but… isn’t it the job of armed government forces to fire on unarmed protesters? Haven't these people heard of Kent State, the Seattle WTO protests, the Boston Massacre, Russian Bloody Sunday, Irish Bloody Sunday, the Tianenmen Square Massacre, the Freedom Flotilla and pretty much every day in the lives of dissidents in most nations on earth?

    The only logical explanation is that the Egyptian Army was — like the Egyptian Pyramids — designed, created and is currently managed by wacky aliens from outer space. Mystery solved! May the alien-human joint revolution proceed peacefully, and may this union once again result in ginormous tourist attractions.


    Tags: Egypt, Hosni Mubarak, Protesters

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