A Valentine's Day Gift Guide for Your Very Special Political Ideologue

This Valentine's Day, don't get your sweetheart the normal old boring gifts of candies, flowers and anal glide. Get him or her something that goes right past the brain and speaks directly to the heart…

"Impeach Obama" Thong

Can you imagine anything more romantic than gingerly sliding your lady love's skirt down down from her waste and coming face-to-face with the foreign-born impostor who is conspiring with the Communist Muslims to tear down the Western World?

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More gift ideas after the jump…

Ronald Reagan Life-Size Cardboard Stand-Up

Never again will you need to pretend that your imaginary friend Ronnie is spending quality time with you and your love by the TV, at the fire range, or watching over your matrimonial bed in solemn approval.  Now you can have a ménage à trois Freedom Threeway anytime you like.

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Barack Obama Dildo

You and your Rachel Maddow-adoring, hemp clothes-wearing, Hope-mongering partner with whom you're living in sin can finally consummate your love affair with your beloved Barry Soetoro.

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Sarah Palin Inflatable Love Doll

The great thing about this inflatable love doll is that, though its mouth is always open, it never says anything dumb. The bad thing is that it'll be begin to deflate around halfway through your business.

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Hillary Clinton's Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe

Nothing says love like freshly baked chocolate and pastry from the cookbook of a woman could reach inside your chest, pull out your heart and present it to you along with a bouquet of flowers as soon as look at you. Mmmmmm mmmmm mmm!

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Commie Mints Candy

Helps mask the stale savor of sedition before state-approved baby-making sessions.

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Miss RIGHT Teddy Bear

Sorry, but not available for gay customers.

Tags: Barack Obama, Communism, Conservatives, Democrats, Food, Hillary Clinton, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, Sex, Valentine's Day