Hot heir apparent Kim Jong-un of Korea has reportedly ascended to the second-highest position in the land. Yes, he was elected in a tight but decisive and totally ethical victory over — haha, J/K, this is North Korea! His dad totally just made the announcement at his own dictator-themed bday shindig while, like, eating all the food he won't let North Korea's starving masses have…
The celebration, typically crowned by a massive turnout of goose-stepping soldiers and dancing, uniformed women in the city’s central square, was punctuated — as it is every year — by a flower show featuring bright red tuberous begonias called kimjongilia.
Yet the events were marred by the leader’s failure to follow through on a promise of a day’s food to all of the country’s 24 million people, The Associated Press reported.
First of all, "kimjongilia" sounds like the name of a) a pretty pretty princess or b) a social disease.
Second of all, the AP is obviously just packed with haterz who don't understand Kim Jong-il's clever strategy to avoid the obesity problems that plague the Great Enemy, the United States of Fatties.
So congratulations, Kim Jong-un! You are undoubtedly eminently qualified to be the almost-Supreme Leader!
Tags: Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong-un, North Korea