• The Indecision Guide to Middle East Uprisings

    Maybe you've been following the latest anti-government uprisings in the Middle East, or maybe you have been too busy raising your children, studying your textbooks or playing your XBox. All important activities!

    Thankfully for you, Indecision is here to give you a brief, handy primer on the goings-on Over There. To start, you need to know that Libya, Yemen, and Bahrain are all currently ruled by people who weren't actually chosen by the populace in, y'know, transparent democratic elections. And the people are mad! Okay, now that you're up to date on the basics, let's get into some specifics.

    First up: Libya. Libya has been ruled by mushy-faced dictator Muammar el-Qaddafi forever. His goons are allegedly killing protesters, but he's losing his grip on the country pretty swiftly. Today he went on the teevee to whine about it. He was dressed like a cross between a Tusken Raider and Norma Desmond. This combination accurately reflects his approach to leadership. People are freaking out.

    Next, let's take a gander at Yemen. Protesters want President Ali Abdullah Saleh to step down immediately. He has ruled the country since 1978. University students keep setting stuff on fire.

    Bahrain is an island where creepy Michael Jackson used to creepily hang out. Later, Prince Abdulla Al-Khalifa of Bahrain sued him! Aaaaanyway, Bahrain's protesters have been non-creepily nonviolent. Their king is called Hamad ibn Isa Khalifa. They have palm trees.

    And that's about it! Congratulations on your new degree in Middle Eastern Studies. You're now prepared to go toe-to-toe with any of these so-called "experts" on one of the so-called "news" shows. You're welcome.

    Tags: Bahrain, Libya, Middle East, Muammar Qaddafi, Protesters, Yemen


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