Between Tworld News and Tweet the Press with Witstream, your dream of a Twirlfriend suddenly seems plausible.
Hope everyone had a lovely day off despite the shameless commercialization of all American Holidays — who's for a petition to put Christ back in Presidents Day?
Crisis averted; anybody who's anybody knew this whole 'turmoil in the Middle East' thing was a fluke.
Barnyard animals are gonna be really pissed when they find certain things on the Internet. Especially all the videos of ugly children singing.
Oh Sarah, think of how upset Todd will be when he finds out that he's not the only neanderthal in your life anymore.
If the Donald runs for President, we can make the election into a reality show, and then everyone will vote. Someone with money please actually make this happen.
Mark Zuckerberg probably wouldn't have died for Egypt, it would have been against his popular motto: "If you were the inventors of Freedom and the Internet, you would have invented America."
The inverse relationship between points scored on Jeopardy and amount of sex had with human beings remains intact.
The Grammys; an annual reminder of why no one felt bad about using Napster.
You can call AOL crazy for buying HuffPo for $315 million, but just remember these are the same people who re-branded from 'AOL' to 'Aol.' and acted like it was no big deal.
Tweet to the beat: @TheInDecider
Tags: AOL, Donald Trump, Egypt, Huffington Post, Internet, Music, Rick Santorum, Robots Are Dope!, Sarah Palin, Tworld News