Oh man, I turned on my computer this morning and discovered that the Internet has vomited fucking ridiculous Donald Trump news fucking everywhere! Holy shit! You have to give it to Republicans. When they find a ridiculous joke of a candidate to throw all of their hopes and dreams behind, they go all in!
So, I don't even know where to begin with all of this nonsense. I mean, should I write about how Donald Trump is "doing God's work" by questioning the validity of president's birth certificate? (So, if God is all-knowing and a birther, does that make Him omnidelusional?) Or should I go with this one about how he apparently hoards Bibles in a secret chamber of his gold-plated penthouse? (He apparently takes the same approach to spirituality as he does to real estate. Try to own it all.)
Oh, what about this one about how Donald Trump is now an actual frontrunner the GOP primary race…
Donald Trump is now tied with Mike Huckabee for first place when Republicans are asked who they support for the GOP presidential nomination in 2012, according to a new national poll… Nineteen percent of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents questioned in the poll say that as of now, they'd be most likely to support Trump for next year's GOP presidential nomination…
An equal amount say they'd back Huckabee… Twelve percent say they'd support former Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska, who was the party's 2008 vice presidential nominee, with 11 percent backing former Massachusetts Gov. and 2008 White House hopeful Mitt Romney and the same amount supporting former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.
This might explain why Sarah Palin is all of a sudden trying to leach off of his headlines. "Hey, getting metric tons of headlines by spouting unconscionably stupid and unsubstantiated nonsense is my thing! I'd better get in on this before it too late." – Sarah Palin (probably).
Speaking of which, that reminds me. You know what the best thing about all this is? As the GOP has learned many times before, there's absolutely no way that empowering an unserious and dangerously ego-motivated attention junky can possibly back fire on the party or the conservative movement in general…
If Donald Trump were to lose the GOP presidential nomination, he could run for president as an independent — and he thinks he could win, the business magnate and television personality said Monday.
"I think the Republicans are very concerned that I [may] run as an independent," Trump said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal. "I could also possibly win as an independent, otherwise I wouldn't do it. I'm not doing it for any other reason. I like winning."
And that's how easy it is for a less-camera friendly Sarah Palin to turn into the Tea Party's Ralph Nader. Enjoy your hair golem, conservatives. You built him, now you deal with him.
Tags: Birthers, Christianity, Donald Trump, Mike Huckabee, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Sarah Palin, The Bible