• Barack Obama Is a Closer

    President Barry Soetero is hittin' the road, Willy Loman-style, to promote his deficit plan. Like all the great snake oil salesmen of old, this Kenyan witch doctor will bust out a fancy stump speech, gesticulate wildly, and plant fake audience members in the crowd to claim his product will cure what ails us.

    Let's hear what he had to say last week in notoriously right-wing Republican stronghold Chicago

    "I know there are times where some of you have felt frustrated because we’ve had to compromise with the Republicans on some issues," he said. "There have been times people are frustrated because we didn’t get everything done in the first two years. There have been times where I felt the same way you do."

    Yes, Dear Leader, it must be frustrating to compromise with people who are always right about everything ever! Like how Planned Parenthood kills babies for funz, and how poor people hate work and should die alone on the street. Alas, these two totems of the RNC platform seem to escape Barry's comprehension.

    Ugh, what else did he say in Chi-town that we can expect to hear again and again this week?

    But Mr. Obama implored the crowd not to lose heart, declaring that the vision of America he laid out in his fiscal speech — one in which "we are connected to one another; that I am my brother’s keeper, I am my sister’s keeper" — would animate his campaign and drive the debate in the 2012 election.

    Caring for one another? Ewwww… Someone send this godless socialist communist back to the safe, well-regulated, unionized loser factory from whence he came.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Chicago, Economy, Illinois, Medicare

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.