• Finally, an End to Retired Civil Servants' Egregiously Luxuriant Lifestyle

    In America, every child grows up dreaming that one day he or she can acquire a fancy, glamorous job as a civil servant. Yes, there's nothing more ideal than a position in which you are required to deal with the angry book-hatin', TV dinner-chompin', kiddie-leashin', Wal-Mart shoppin', gas-guzzlin' masses. What's more, you get to live in the lap of luxury when you retire, thanks to those million-dollar-a-year government pensions. But these fat cat civil servants have enjoyed their life of enormous wealth for far too long.

    Thankfully, noble city and state governments are out to curtail retirement benefits for public employees

    Conventional wisdom and the laws and constitutions of many states have long held that the pensions being earned by current government workers are untouchable. But as the fiscal crisis has lingered, officials in strapped states from California to Illinois have begun to take a second look, to see whether there might be loopholes allowing them to cut the pension benefits of current employees.

    Thank goodness! Justice will not be served until every senior citizen who ever worked for the U.S., state, or local government is living as a hobo on the streets.

    This is exactly the kind of mission conservatives can really sink their pointy little teeth into.

    Tags: California, Illinois, Money


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