• Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Sticks (It) to the Real Issues

    Now that this whole birther thing is behind us — or is it, Barack, you double-faker? — we can return our attention to the blood, sweat, and tears poured into other worthy causes.

    Like keeping pregnant, poverty-stricken teenagers from going to school

    The push toward the corporatization of the state of Michigan picked up steam as approximately a dozen teachers, teen mothers and their children were arrested in Detroit after staging a peaceful sit-in protest at the Catherine Ferguson Academy.

    The sit-in was organized to protest Emergency Financial Manager Robert Bobb's announcement that he was closing the highly successful and unique school for pregnant and parenting teens.  The school provides pre-natal and parenting classes and gives high school student mothers the opportunity to finish their high school degrees by providing on-site child care and other support services … The school boasts a 90% graduation rate and 100% college and higher education acceptance upon graduation.

    Nicole Conaway, a science teacher at CFA, remarked that "half the students would drop out" if the school closed. But look. It's not Michigan's fault that those kids have kids. And sure, I get that some people feel that "life" and the "pursuit of happiness" are rights, but whose rights? If you take a look at the eloquent words of Thomas Jefferson, these "unalienable rights" belong to "men" who are "created equal," whose "Creator" has "endowed" such things to them.

    So, unless single teenage moms = dudes with deific endowments — and let’s face it, they don't — maybe they should forget the whole life, liberty, etc. thing, and set their sights on welfare and babymaking.

    Actually, kidding! Michigan will be cutting welfare, too.

    Tags: Education, Men and Women, Michigan, Rick Snyder, Welfare


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.